Harry Potter and Teresa Underhill
by martelofdarkness
Summary: Teresa, an almost normal girl excluding the fact she is a Metamorpheous  goes to Hogwarts and explores and makes trouble there.  She is joined by Albus Potter and Rose Weasly.  It is full of silly points that Teresa makes about the wizarding world.
1. In which Teresa gets a letter

**Here is my first go at having people I don't know read my writing. Hopefully you will enjoy it. **

**NOTE: DO NOT read this if you have not read ALL the _Harry Potter_ BOOKS. **

**Trust me. It will ruin it all for you if you read this before you read the books. **

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Chapter 1

A strange letter came in the mail.

It was strange because it had no postage stamp and also because of the address:

Mrs. Teresa Underhill  
The Autumn Room  
Number 2 Privet Drive  
Little Whinging, England

Ha. My address, room, and name. Some of the craziest stuff about me, besides my family, that is.

My mom is Claire Underhill. She's single. When she moved out of her parents' house for good, she decided to change her last name to Underhill because she is a Lord of the Rings fan (the books, not the movies). Claire adopted me in the U.S. where I had lived until recently. Claire is an artist. She does 3D art, painting, and pencil drawings.

When she got laid off, an old friend in England offered her work. Her "old friend" was actually a guy she went to college with and he manages the building of stuff along roads and in parks to make them look nicer. Since he is really rich, he bought us a house in a pretty nice neighborhood. Actually, it is a really nice neighborhood.

It is impossible not to notice our house. All the other houses have nicely mowed lawns and trimmed bushes to perfection. Not us though. We have planted trees all over our front lawn to make it look like a forest, all dark and mysterious. We have also strung sparkly crystals and wind chimes on strings tied between the trees on our front lawn.

In the back we have a garden with tile mosaics, bridges, and sculptures of stone, metal, and wood. Yes, it very obvious that Claire is an artist.

Inside it gets even better. All the rooms of the house are painted different. The furniture is all oriental, or something that looks artsy and modern.

As you can see, we are the neighbors worst nightmare.

My room is called the Autumn room by Claire and I. It has been painted in a leaf-like pattern the colors of autumn leaves. My furniture is bright colors and lies low to the ground. I have posters, pictures, comics, newspapers, and other junk taped to my whiteboard and piled in certain areas of my room. How this person writing the letter knew my room is called the Autumn room I will never know.

"Claire, I got a letter." I informed Claire.

"That's great Teresa. Who is it from, your new school?" Claire replied.

"There is no postage stamp or return address on it."

"Let me see." Claire took the letter and looked it over, her brown eyes searching for some clue. Claire sighed.

"That's a strange letter. Go ahead and open it."

She handed me the letter. I opened it and unfolded the paper.


	2. In which Teresa argues with a lady

**Chapter 2 is out on the same day! Chapter 1 kind of ended abruptly so I made sure to get chapter 2 out as soon as possible and I actually finished typing it on the same day. Please enjoy.  
**

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Chapter 2

Hogwarts? What kind of silly name is that?

And it says things about me being accepted into a school for witches! God, if I were a witch then all the people who annoyed me would be toads, especially if they were the people who had called me mental or sick in the head. But… still that might explain some things.

I can change my hair, eyes, and the rest of me however I want. Strange things happen around me too. I even said when I was little that an Egyptian princess cursed me because I thought that was the best explanation there was. No wonder people call me mental…

It also said somebody called McGonagall is coming to see me. I knew the neighbors, especially the ones who live at number four, hate us but to resort to this…

"Can I see the letter?" Claire was peering over my shoulder. I handed it to her and watched her as she read. Sometime later she said,

"Well, that was certainly informing if not interesting."

Then the doorbell rang.

Claire got up off the stool shaped like a hand that she had been sitting on and went to answer the door.

In stepped a lady dressed in an emerald green business suit. She was oldish looking and, in some strange way, seemed a lot like a cat. (I have no idea where that came from.)

"Good morning." She said curtly. This lady seemed to be all about business. I couldn't tell weather or not I liked her.

"I am Professor McGonagall." The lady continued. "You must be Claire and Teresa Underhill. I have come to talk to you about Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." McGonagall turned to me.

"Teresa Underhill, you have magic. Not just any, mind you, but also you are a Metahorpheous-"

"Ok, so that huge word means I can look how I want to look, right?" I said, interrupting her. "Yup, I already knew about all that except I'm no witch. I can't turn boys into toads, make cards rain down from the sky, or whatever it is that they do."

McGonagall looked at me funny.

"I have come to tell you about magic, school, and also to help you gather supplies for school."

It was my turn to give a funny look.

"I never said I was going."

"Well you are, are you not?" McGonagall seemed a bit stressed.

"No."

"What?" McGonagall looked shocked.

"I don't want to go." I calmly said. "I hate boarding schools, orphans are sent to them until they find a family a lot you know. I refuse to go. All boarding schools I have been to have been catholic, and I got picked on a lot because I didn't fit in. Why won't it be the same at your school?" I was getting fed up with this woman and I wanted her gone.

"I am not saying that my school will be different than the others." Said McGonagall. "It would certainly be more interesting though. You will use magic wands and take classes in different categories of magic, learn the history of magic-"

"History?" I interrupted again. I have always loved History, but a lot of schools have Geography instead of History. Maybe this school wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Yes, History." McGonagall looked a bit impatient. "Now are we going and getting supplies or not?"

I looked over at Claire. She nodded. Oh well. I guess I had it coming for me. I looked in the envelope of the letter for a list of supplies and pulled it out.

I put on a tiny smile as I read the list. She could never get any of this stuff in London.

"Where first?" I asked, a smug smile on my face.


	3. In which Teresa files complaints

**So sorry that the chapter is too short. The next one is going to be too long, I am afraid. I am really sorry...  
**

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Chapter 3 

I was led through the streets of London to a small shack called the Leaky Cauldron. Leaky is certainly a good word to describe it. I couldn't see how people could just walk by it without at least gawking at it. But, I figured it probably was magic or something or else, why would McGonagall be leading me inside?

I walked inside and whispered, "If this is what all magic places look like I think I am going to die."

Why you ask?

Because the inside was so dreary that a crazy-witch-lady-haunted-house-maker-person would be jealous.

I turned to McGonagall, "Have you ever heard of color in buildings? You could certainly use some pizzazz in your architecture."

McGonagall answered me, "The Leaky Cauldron has been here for countless years, and holds historical elements for all us who do magic." She sounded as though she had said this before.

"No wonder this place is 'Leaky.'" I muttered. "Did you add the 'Leaky' part to the 'Cauldron' before or after all the history worked its magic?" I smiled my most innocent smile while she gave me a if-looks-could-kill-you'd-have-died-a-thousand-deaths glare.

"Bringing another young'un, Professor?" asked the bartender.

"Yes." She answered.

"Have fun getting your books." The bartender said to me with a smile. "This is a lot different than a muggle's shopping market."

I gave him a questioning look but all he would say was, "You'll see."

I followed McGonagall out the door to a courtyard. She tapped a few bricks with a wand she produced from her coat sleeve. I examined the wand and her tapping. Personally, I was disappointed in the wand. It just looked like a smooth stick of wood. I was surprised though, about how there seemed to be some sort of sequence to the tapping.

Suddenly the wall started to shake. Some bricks dropped or slid to make a gap in the wall. When all the bricks had settled I noticed it was shaped as an arch and was labeled Diagon Alley. I looked at McGonagall.

"Wizard's shopping mall?"

McGonagall actually smiled at me. "Close enough."

We walked through the arch and onto the street.


End file.
